Dude, I’m On The Next Flight. I Don’t Care Where. 🤩
Nice. Just go ahead and get the word out about how everyone hates your shitty airline – yeah, that’ll get arses in seats. Fuck it, what’s the worst that can happen?
Seriously, what were they thinking? Who thought it would be a good idea to just go ahead and put that out there?
That’s it. Pack your shit. Get out.
It’s as if they want to go out of business. Perhaps they’re just sick to death of having to wake up every morning and be Jetstar, and they just want someone to come along and put them out of their misery.
Being an international jet-setter (🤥), I can’t speak to the validity of the vitriol as I’ve never flown Jetstar. So this article isn’t a takedown, per se, more of a good-natured roasting because if things have gone so far up shit creek that you’re even getting your ass handed to you in your own advertisements, you’ve basically taken yourself down by this point.
It’s not as if they would find this article offensive, as it would appear to the uninformed observer that some fucked-up cuck with a humiliation kink went to the ad agency and requested something to the effect of:
“”When people think “Jetstar,” we want to them to think of a hefty plane-load of sad, mouldy dongers. We’re down to our last fifty bucks. Make it happen.”
“We’ll leave it in your capable hands.” | IMAGES COURTESY OF FREEPIK.
Or perhaps they’re so inept that they generated the whole thing with ChatGPT; maybe there was a typo in the prompt; maybe something got lost in translation, but whatever happened, they sent the ad copy off to the ad agency, before nipping off for their lunchtime wank without even being arsed to read the damn thing.
Maybe their policy is to pitch the ad concept over the phone with a mouthful of marshmallows?
Maybe they like to use reverse psychology when asking the ad agency to come up with an ad campaign?
Maybe they have a piñata containing all of their customer reviews and a big carnival wheel at their offices with all of their email contacts on it (including the ad agency). Then, when the office Christmas function rolls around, they do a bunch of jelly shots, spin the wheel, smash the piñata, and then whatever falls out, they just go and email it to whichever contact the wheel happens to land on?
Or maybe the ad agency were themselves disgruntled customers and decided to go rogue in retaliation for their repeated fuck-ups?
Charge me $70 on my luggage, will ya? Eat this.”
Who in the blue hell would authorise such a stupendously shit premise? Does anyone at this airline give even the slightest shit?
Either way, it’s not good.In fact, when it’s gotten so bad that even your own advertisements have nothing nice to say about you, you’re pretty much fucked.
G. Billington Evans is a satirical writer, visual artist, and owner of THEARTOFGEVANS.COM.
